March 10, 2009 (In celebration of the International Women’s Day on March 8th)
I finally got it! It’s such a good thing to be a woman, even when we are having our period, even when we are having our menstrual cramps and mode swings. For the first time I understand, wherever I feel pain, my body is telling me there is a blockage. And with the help of the strong flowing of blood each month, I have the opportunity to address these blockages. This could be part of why women tend to live longer than men because our body gives us a monthly check up!
Wherever it hurts, press the points, massage the areas and pound on the achy lines down the legs. It’s likely for many of us that these points and lines are on the liver and gall bladder channels. As soon as they are open, we’d feel a rush of electricity or cold qi run down the channels and out of our feet. Sometime our feet may stay ice cold for a while until all the cold qi the body could push out at this time is gone.
On the emotional end, some of us tend to have outbursts before our blood flows. Some men around us may not appreciate it. But it is precisely these outbursts that show us our suppressed upsets and anger. Like the physical body, these emotional outbursts are also signs that perhaps during the rest of the month we have been blocking, numbing and not dealing with some issues in our lives. Don’t discredit these outbursts as nonsense, rather, treasure this messenger and listen.
We have such wonderful help. If we ignore them, we waste our natural abilities to heal ourselves. Our menstrual cycles are a gift that can help us prevent future diseases such as uterine, ovarian and breast ailments. If we can promptly open our liver and gall bladder channels, we also avoid pent up anger that hurt our liver and destroy our gall bladder.
For many of us, our mind may want to avoid facing pain and doing something to change it because it does not get the body logic. But our body, our heart and soul want it, need it, flourish because of it. We have nature helping us through this process. The pull of the full moon, the push and pull of ocean tides, the pulsation of earth all nurture us women to be fully women. Accepting this natural process, celebrating it allow us to come into our full power as women, and allow the interaction between men and women to be fuller, truer and more profound.
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Saturday, February 28, 2009
Losing Weight & Gaining Wellness
I have a number of very good friends who are overweight, and it’s affecting their heart health. This worries me quite a bit since they are all such wonderful people, and I want them to be well, happy and energetic, and be around for a long time. So one of my first priorities on this Chinese Medicine study research is to find ways they could use in regaining wellness and vitality. Here I have translated some very useful information especially with their common symptoms in mind, and hope many can find this process useful.
We gain weight not from absorbing too much nutrients. We gain weight from absorbing garbage that could not be processed out of our body. The more we couldn’t process our food, the more starved our body feels and need more food to get the needed nutrients. The more garbage our body accumulate, the more blockages, and our elimination process weaken more. Because it’s garbage not nutrients we are accumulating, we would gain excess fat instead of getting more energy and stronger. This is why overweight people tend to have less energy and get fatigued faster. The more blockages and stagnation also cause more illnesses. This lessening of function of our organs forms a vicious cycle.
The best way to lose weight is to improve our nutrients absorbing function and get rid of garbage efficiently. The organ that breaks down food and turns it into energy and nutrients is our spleen. Then it stores the energy and nutrients in our muscles. Our muscles act as our storage unit until the organs need the nutrients and energy. But when the spleen functions low, has little or no energy, it half breaks down food or not at all. Then these half or not broken down food becomes garbage that doesn’t move or contribute to the rest of our body. They become excess fat that actually blocks flow and causes illness. Because spleen governs muscles, weak spleen also causes lack of muscle tone.
In order to burn the excess fat, it takes extra nutrients and energy. It’s like a factory full of half done and not assembled products that tie up its cash flow, it takes more labor, energy and cash to sort them through and finish them and move them out. This is why the starvation weight loss technique always rebounds. It burns up existing muscles, and with it stored nutrients and energy so organs get weak. But it doesn’t produce the extra nutrients and energy needed to process the fat. This can weaken and harm our vital organs such as our heart. With it we may experience more loss of muscle tone, skin elasticity and general energy level.
An even worse situation is when people take weight loss medication that increases their metabolism. In this case it is as if not only the half done products are moved out but the factory itself is being sold off cheap as well. It could result in thyroid disorders and heart muscle damages, worst it could even cause kidney failure.
Losing extra weight is a self-healing, caring, loving and joyous process. It should be a process where all or our vital organs work better so we feel well and more energetic. We can start this process by eating food that heals our spleen such as a porridge of three herbal grains: huai2shan1yao4, yi4mi3 and qian4shi2 (all three could be found in common Chinese Medicine stores. This is a great combination meal that can be taken every day for a long time). Avoid any over processed food including rice and bread. We can eat as much energy rich organic food such as beef, lamb, eggs, salt water fish and nuts, and fresh, in season, local vegetables and fruits. Avoid pork, chicken, fresh water fish, any sugary food and cold, refrigerated food and drinks.
If you are the kind of person who loves meat or nuts, sometimes it could be your body’s way of telling you that you are lacking major nutrients. You don’t need to control yourself too much as long as you chew two big hawthorn pills (this can be found in all Chinese herb stores) afterwards to aid the breaking down of the meat so they don’t become more garbage.
With this method you will feel more energetic all the time, your body producing more qi and blood to activate the organ restoration and the garbage cleaning process. At first you may experience a weight gain. Do not be discouraged. This is your body producing more qi and blood to store in your muscles and giving you more muscle tone. Other people may say you look thinner because you are more solid.
This time we can massage and hit a few spleen points on our lower leg to wake up our spleen. The more sensitive the points, the more time and focus we need to give them. It’s good to start with twenty minutes after each meal. With more nutrients absorbed, we will naturally feel our energy shift. Our body would want to move more. This would be the right time to add on more exercise. Depending on each individual’s condition, we can start with gentle exercises such as slow walking and taichi.
To avoid snacking sugar rich processed food, we can carry some Chinese red dates, dried gui4yuan2 (both can be found in all Chinese grocery stores) and some nuts. The two dried fruits both help increase our blood and qi while reducing garbage in our body.
If our elimination process is slow, blocked and weak, we can take two kinds of herbs, one to help cleansing, another to aid our energy and qi during the cleanse, such as shi2 quan2 da4 bu3 wan2 or bu3 zhong1 yi4 qi4. Both can be found at any Chinese herb store. These herbs can increase the power of the cleansing while not hurting our stomach and spleen functions. To keep the out and in process balanced also helps the cycle.
We gain weight not from absorbing too much nutrients. We gain weight from absorbing garbage that could not be processed out of our body. The more we couldn’t process our food, the more starved our body feels and need more food to get the needed nutrients. The more garbage our body accumulate, the more blockages, and our elimination process weaken more. Because it’s garbage not nutrients we are accumulating, we would gain excess fat instead of getting more energy and stronger. This is why overweight people tend to have less energy and get fatigued faster. The more blockages and stagnation also cause more illnesses. This lessening of function of our organs forms a vicious cycle.
The best way to lose weight is to improve our nutrients absorbing function and get rid of garbage efficiently. The organ that breaks down food and turns it into energy and nutrients is our spleen. Then it stores the energy and nutrients in our muscles. Our muscles act as our storage unit until the organs need the nutrients and energy. But when the spleen functions low, has little or no energy, it half breaks down food or not at all. Then these half or not broken down food becomes garbage that doesn’t move or contribute to the rest of our body. They become excess fat that actually blocks flow and causes illness. Because spleen governs muscles, weak spleen also causes lack of muscle tone.
In order to burn the excess fat, it takes extra nutrients and energy. It’s like a factory full of half done and not assembled products that tie up its cash flow, it takes more labor, energy and cash to sort them through and finish them and move them out. This is why the starvation weight loss technique always rebounds. It burns up existing muscles, and with it stored nutrients and energy so organs get weak. But it doesn’t produce the extra nutrients and energy needed to process the fat. This can weaken and harm our vital organs such as our heart. With it we may experience more loss of muscle tone, skin elasticity and general energy level.
An even worse situation is when people take weight loss medication that increases their metabolism. In this case it is as if not only the half done products are moved out but the factory itself is being sold off cheap as well. It could result in thyroid disorders and heart muscle damages, worst it could even cause kidney failure.
Losing extra weight is a self-healing, caring, loving and joyous process. It should be a process where all or our vital organs work better so we feel well and more energetic. We can start this process by eating food that heals our spleen such as a porridge of three herbal grains: huai2shan1yao4, yi4mi3 and qian4shi2 (all three could be found in common Chinese Medicine stores. This is a great combination meal that can be taken every day for a long time). Avoid any over processed food including rice and bread. We can eat as much energy rich organic food such as beef, lamb, eggs, salt water fish and nuts, and fresh, in season, local vegetables and fruits. Avoid pork, chicken, fresh water fish, any sugary food and cold, refrigerated food and drinks.
If you are the kind of person who loves meat or nuts, sometimes it could be your body’s way of telling you that you are lacking major nutrients. You don’t need to control yourself too much as long as you chew two big hawthorn pills (this can be found in all Chinese herb stores) afterwards to aid the breaking down of the meat so they don’t become more garbage.
With this method you will feel more energetic all the time, your body producing more qi and blood to activate the organ restoration and the garbage cleaning process. At first you may experience a weight gain. Do not be discouraged. This is your body producing more qi and blood to store in your muscles and giving you more muscle tone. Other people may say you look thinner because you are more solid.
This time we can massage and hit a few spleen points on our lower leg to wake up our spleen. The more sensitive the points, the more time and focus we need to give them. It’s good to start with twenty minutes after each meal. With more nutrients absorbed, we will naturally feel our energy shift. Our body would want to move more. This would be the right time to add on more exercise. Depending on each individual’s condition, we can start with gentle exercises such as slow walking and taichi.
To avoid snacking sugar rich processed food, we can carry some Chinese red dates, dried gui4yuan2 (both can be found in all Chinese grocery stores) and some nuts. The two dried fruits both help increase our blood and qi while reducing garbage in our body.
If our elimination process is slow, blocked and weak, we can take two kinds of herbs, one to help cleansing, another to aid our energy and qi during the cleanse, such as shi2 quan2 da4 bu3 wan2 or bu3 zhong1 yi4 qi4. Both can be found at any Chinese herb store. These herbs can increase the power of the cleansing while not hurting our stomach and spleen functions. To keep the out and in process balanced also helps the cycle.
How to Prevent Pimples or Breakouts
This little bit of information could be useful for so many teens in the west! Indeed some modern ways of living have taken us far from our roots, our natural way of being. This is just another reminder of the draw backs of not using modern technology with ancient wisdom.
Pimples, or breakouts on the forehead and cheeks are usually caused by too much cold in the stomach meridian. Two common reasons causing stomach cold are too much cold drinks or refregerated food and unexpressed or suppressed emotions. Our human body keeps a steady temperature. If we often takes in cold drinks and food, our stomach must produce extra heat to normalize its temperature. This stomach heat would cause more thirst, thus the vicious cycle continues. After a while when there is more and more stomach heat built up, it travels upward in the stomach channels which pass through our face. The pimples are merely external manifestation of an internal imbalance. To stop it from the surface is like telling the messenger bearing the bad news to shut up. Pimples can be cured from treating the stomach channels, by simply massaging or pounding on the channels and points, especially ones that's sensitive. Even in the summer, drinking warm water can from the root cure our thirst, whereas cold water would only increase our thirst.
Pimples, or breakouts on the forehead and cheeks are usually caused by too much cold in the stomach meridian. Two common reasons causing stomach cold are too much cold drinks or refregerated food and unexpressed or suppressed emotions. Our human body keeps a steady temperature. If we often takes in cold drinks and food, our stomach must produce extra heat to normalize its temperature. This stomach heat would cause more thirst, thus the vicious cycle continues. After a while when there is more and more stomach heat built up, it travels upward in the stomach channels which pass through our face. The pimples are merely external manifestation of an internal imbalance. To stop it from the surface is like telling the messenger bearing the bad news to shut up. Pimples can be cured from treating the stomach channels, by simply massaging or pounding on the channels and points, especially ones that's sensitive. Even in the summer, drinking warm water can from the root cure our thirst, whereas cold water would only increase our thirst.
our Body Structure and Function Determines Our Destiny
I have started translating some contemporary views on traditional Chinese medicine today in China. I find many of them refreshing, and fit our current needs perfectly. I will start to post some of these translations and my own thoughts from now on. I hope many will benefit from these practical tools for everyday life. Below is a good introduction on traditional Chinese Medicine.
The Yellow Emperor’s Internal Classic suggests that a wise person is one who has control over oneself, one’s own life, one’s own nature, one’s own desire and body. In this world, the human body is the most precise self regulating eco-system, which means it depends on its nature to exists, to be in balance, to harmonize, not depending on any man-made thoughts or objective ideas.
An ancient Chinese saying goes, “Cultivate one self, unify one’s family, oversee one’s nation and then one may bring peace to the world.” Cultivating the self comes before all. In this case, the saying is not talking about our brain but our body. Our body is “smarter” than our brain because the brain thinks therefore there is action; whereas the body does not think yet knows therefore it is of non-action, in Daoist term, “wu wei”.
Our body is a microcosm of the world. To know our body is to know how the world works. To know how to balance our own ecosystem is to know how to keep the macrocosm in balance, in harmony. This is why the Chinese says, “The lowest level doctor heals disease; the middle level doctor heals human being; the highest level doctor heals the nation, the world.”
Everything in the world has changed over hundreds of thousands of years, except human being and its nature. All thoughts and knowledge come from the human being. This is why the Chinese says the highest understanding is to understand the human being. And this understanding comes from the body.
Chinese medicine understands that one’s body not only determines one’s physical state, but one’s emotional, mental and spiritual states also evolve out of one’s body. For example the book “Da Xue” from about twenty three hundred years ago says that the ultimate compassion comes from a heart spirit that is calm and centered. Another popular Chinese idiom says, “The state of ‘Ding’ produces wisdom.” The word “Ding” can be translated as pause, cease, which in meditation practice means when the heart-mind stops, when it ceases churning random thoughts. Chinese medicine says, when one’s liver qi is stagnate, one easily irritates and therefore cannot calm down to finish projects. When one’s kidney qi is weak, one doesn’t have enough brain power to think things through, therefore can fail easily. Even Napoleon was quoted that one’s fate is determined by one’s body structure. Chinese medicine adds that our body structure and function determines our destiny. From this view we can say the highest science is the science of the human body.
The Yellow Emperor’s Internal Classic suggests that a wise person is one who has control over oneself, one’s own life, one’s own nature, one’s own desire and body. In this world, the human body is the most precise self regulating eco-system, which means it depends on its nature to exists, to be in balance, to harmonize, not depending on any man-made thoughts or objective ideas.
An ancient Chinese saying goes, “Cultivate one self, unify one’s family, oversee one’s nation and then one may bring peace to the world.” Cultivating the self comes before all. In this case, the saying is not talking about our brain but our body. Our body is “smarter” than our brain because the brain thinks therefore there is action; whereas the body does not think yet knows therefore it is of non-action, in Daoist term, “wu wei”.
Our body is a microcosm of the world. To know our body is to know how the world works. To know how to balance our own ecosystem is to know how to keep the macrocosm in balance, in harmony. This is why the Chinese says, “The lowest level doctor heals disease; the middle level doctor heals human being; the highest level doctor heals the nation, the world.”
Everything in the world has changed over hundreds of thousands of years, except human being and its nature. All thoughts and knowledge come from the human being. This is why the Chinese says the highest understanding is to understand the human being. And this understanding comes from the body.
Chinese medicine understands that one’s body not only determines one’s physical state, but one’s emotional, mental and spiritual states also evolve out of one’s body. For example the book “Da Xue” from about twenty three hundred years ago says that the ultimate compassion comes from a heart spirit that is calm and centered. Another popular Chinese idiom says, “The state of ‘Ding’ produces wisdom.” The word “Ding” can be translated as pause, cease, which in meditation practice means when the heart-mind stops, when it ceases churning random thoughts. Chinese medicine says, when one’s liver qi is stagnate, one easily irritates and therefore cannot calm down to finish projects. When one’s kidney qi is weak, one doesn’t have enough brain power to think things through, therefore can fail easily. Even Napoleon was quoted that one’s fate is determined by one’s body structure. Chinese medicine adds that our body structure and function determines our destiny. From this view we can say the highest science is the science of the human body.
Thursday, January 1, 2009
Taking Responsibility in Life--“Seven Pounds” with Will Smith
Some reviews say the movie Seven Pounds with Will Smith has a “graceful, moving revelations at the end.” I beg to differ. The writer of the film makes several assumptions. One, the assumption is doctor knows best. Two, transplant is the answer. Three, killing oneself can be martyrdom. Four, many years of upbringing by parents and loved one plus years of higher education plus a newly gained awareness to serve others is less than seven pounds of organs.
The main character is presumed to be a real person, which feels like an insult to my intelligence because the story cannot possibly be real. In comparison to another well debated movie, “The Curious Benjamin Button,” in which the main character is presumed to be fantasy, I respect the writer’s creative thinking though not perfect, but it provoked thoughts of “what ifs” in me, which is a sign of success for a movie I think. Because the main character played by Will Smith in “Seven Pounds” is so not believable, this is why Smith would shift from one character to another completely different person in seconds, playing an impossible role that is way beyond bipolar.
The Chinese culture renders suicide the most selfish act one can commit. How does one weigh one’s responsibility for his upbringing by parents and so many people’s hard work? One is most inconsiderate of his loved ones and irresponsible to life itself to end his own life. Even Jesus who knew he would die did not end his own life. A life is most precious because we can do so much good with a life on this Earth than any THING we can give. According to Buddhism, when one commit suicide, one is stuck in the middle realm for the rest of his natural life span, only an observer of the trauma his untimely departure has cost to others, but not able to live or change anything. It’s a compulsory time and space for inner observation. In Smith’s case, he’d have lots of time to think over whether seven pounds of organs is the most he could give to this world.
Psychologically when one wants to commit suicide, he is hopeless that there is anything more for him in life, sunk in darkness, shrinking away from living life and detaching from connecting with others. When Smith cannot forgive himself for killing many people, he would be incapable of forgiving others and therefore cannot be capable of giving to others, reaching out and connecting to others. When he cannot recognize the goodness in himself, how could he recognize goodness in others? When he is hopeless, how could he offer hope, inspiration and power to live their lives to others? We can see that dark, hopeless, disconnected and tortured expression whenever Smith thoughts of killing himself.
When he was thinking of helping others, his facial and body expressions completely shift to another character, one who is strong, powerful, making things happen, connected to his own feelings and others, able to love himself and others. In reality our thoughts are manifested into our words and actions. Our inside and outside are mirrors for each other. Smith’s character is at odds, conflicted because the story is trying to patch two impossibly opposite characters into one. No wonder the character felt like an extreme split personality to the extent of unbelievable.
Another aspect of the film is the western modern medicine’s myth that one can be instantly saved by a doctor, and one can be magically healed from a transplant. In modern alternative medicine, most of the heart diseases can be healed with nutrition. Some studies show that Congestive Heart Failures can even be caused by blood pressure medication. Whereas in traditional Chinese medicine, even the most debilitating heart diseases from birth can be healed easily and quickly from the subtle energy/emotional realm. Even if one receives a new transplanted heart, if one’s diet and emotions don’t change, the new heart will fail just like the old; whereas if one changes one’s diet and emotions, one does not need to go through a heart surgery or transplant at all.
Indeed it’s the patient’s responsibility to look at his life, how his past has made his present condition. If we go into spirituality, birth defects come from past lives unresolved issues that can be healed now in this life as well. Again we can help ourselves, and we are the only one who can truly change ourselves, not an all-powerful force from the outside of ourselves, like a doctor or a God that lives in heaven.
It’s unfortunate that actors have to portray such unreal characters in such impossible storylines. I hope as we shift into new energy, more movies will be more in touch with people’s lives and hope to inspire people to empower themselves through a process of taking charge, how people makes living responsibly for ourselves, our community and environment a daily practice. Because we could all use reminders from time to time.
The main character is presumed to be a real person, which feels like an insult to my intelligence because the story cannot possibly be real. In comparison to another well debated movie, “The Curious Benjamin Button,” in which the main character is presumed to be fantasy, I respect the writer’s creative thinking though not perfect, but it provoked thoughts of “what ifs” in me, which is a sign of success for a movie I think. Because the main character played by Will Smith in “Seven Pounds” is so not believable, this is why Smith would shift from one character to another completely different person in seconds, playing an impossible role that is way beyond bipolar.
The Chinese culture renders suicide the most selfish act one can commit. How does one weigh one’s responsibility for his upbringing by parents and so many people’s hard work? One is most inconsiderate of his loved ones and irresponsible to life itself to end his own life. Even Jesus who knew he would die did not end his own life. A life is most precious because we can do so much good with a life on this Earth than any THING we can give. According to Buddhism, when one commit suicide, one is stuck in the middle realm for the rest of his natural life span, only an observer of the trauma his untimely departure has cost to others, but not able to live or change anything. It’s a compulsory time and space for inner observation. In Smith’s case, he’d have lots of time to think over whether seven pounds of organs is the most he could give to this world.
Psychologically when one wants to commit suicide, he is hopeless that there is anything more for him in life, sunk in darkness, shrinking away from living life and detaching from connecting with others. When Smith cannot forgive himself for killing many people, he would be incapable of forgiving others and therefore cannot be capable of giving to others, reaching out and connecting to others. When he cannot recognize the goodness in himself, how could he recognize goodness in others? When he is hopeless, how could he offer hope, inspiration and power to live their lives to others? We can see that dark, hopeless, disconnected and tortured expression whenever Smith thoughts of killing himself.
When he was thinking of helping others, his facial and body expressions completely shift to another character, one who is strong, powerful, making things happen, connected to his own feelings and others, able to love himself and others. In reality our thoughts are manifested into our words and actions. Our inside and outside are mirrors for each other. Smith’s character is at odds, conflicted because the story is trying to patch two impossibly opposite characters into one. No wonder the character felt like an extreme split personality to the extent of unbelievable.
Another aspect of the film is the western modern medicine’s myth that one can be instantly saved by a doctor, and one can be magically healed from a transplant. In modern alternative medicine, most of the heart diseases can be healed with nutrition. Some studies show that Congestive Heart Failures can even be caused by blood pressure medication. Whereas in traditional Chinese medicine, even the most debilitating heart diseases from birth can be healed easily and quickly from the subtle energy/emotional realm. Even if one receives a new transplanted heart, if one’s diet and emotions don’t change, the new heart will fail just like the old; whereas if one changes one’s diet and emotions, one does not need to go through a heart surgery or transplant at all.
Indeed it’s the patient’s responsibility to look at his life, how his past has made his present condition. If we go into spirituality, birth defects come from past lives unresolved issues that can be healed now in this life as well. Again we can help ourselves, and we are the only one who can truly change ourselves, not an all-powerful force from the outside of ourselves, like a doctor or a God that lives in heaven.
It’s unfortunate that actors have to portray such unreal characters in such impossible storylines. I hope as we shift into new energy, more movies will be more in touch with people’s lives and hope to inspire people to empower themselves through a process of taking charge, how people makes living responsibly for ourselves, our community and environment a daily practice. Because we could all use reminders from time to time.
Friday, December 26, 2008
Trusting into Safety--Driving through a Blizzard
Driving through Portland, OR in the blizzard, a stretch of black ice on I-5 made most cars pull over to the shoulder to put on chains. A few were in the ditch and a couple overturned. I didn’t have time to get chains. The car in front of me suddenly started spinning, all the way across three lanes, into the ditch. I stepped hard onto my break. Luckily my anti-lock brake saved me from spinning. None the less rushes of adrenaline made my legs feel weak. I desperately wanted to pull over or even turn around. But the storm was just going to increase from now on, and I only had this small window to get home for Christmas. So I bit down my teeth (a Chinese expression), repeating the mantra “I will get home. I will get home.” Then my back started to straighten without me trying, and my grip on the steering was more stable yet relaxed. I didn’t feel scared and tight anymore. My intent became focused and clear, and my car was steady. It was as if I was driving in the qigong state, a state of relaxed focus, or focused relaxation.
Oh yes, reality is the state of mind. Or more precisely, it’s a state of being, or a coherent energetic shift that aligns the mind with the body. In this sense I determine my own fate, I make my own reality. I am the driver of my life. I have the power to manifest what may or may not happen. Yet it’s more than just me. It’s bigger. When I drive safely, my example can give others encouragement and power. Just like when I follow the red taillight of a steady driver, I feel secure. The snow storm, the fear from accident and my mantra brought me to such a feeling of our fated connection.
On the radio Thomas Murdock was quoted, “When I find perfection in God, God finds perfection in me.” The synchronicity gave me a smile. I am the creator, and the creator is me. I live God’s life, and God lives mine. We are all Gods with infinite potential. Living my life responsibly and to the fullest extent is not just for me but for everyone, and with everyone. The word perfection strikes me as profound. It has a meaning of complete acceptance. Nothing is perfect. Life is not perfect we say, yet everything, everyone is.
When fear strikes, I have a choice to either give into the feeling as if it is the reality, or I can become greater than it, rise above it. How do I be greater than fear? Stiffening up my spine wouldn’t do it. But when I let go, relaxing the tightness from fear, from dissatisfaction, from irritation, I release into peace. That peaceful place of acceptance, accepting who I am and what is. How do I release? It is trust, faith in the great goodness that is. I have felt it in my meditations.
To love is to trust. To accept life as it is, as it unfolds is trust. To relax is trust. To breath deep is trust. To smile is trust. To forgive is trust. To look forward is trust. To look at the positive is trust. To be thankful is trust. To tolerate is trust. To open heart is trust. To continue, to persevere through challenges is trust. To keep on giving my best is trust. To not give up is trust. To see pain and feel pain to its deepest core is trust. And to release the pain from its root is trust. To see perfection is trust.
Trust rests the heart and mind in peace. To be reminded of the divine, I get a sense that I can trust life, fate and my destiny. In fact fate, destiny and individual will intertwine in creation. Fate and destiny may be seen as my creation from an earlier part of the fabric that is my life.
A rare snow storm, challenging driving conditions and my fears, another situation in life for me to practice: release into trust, trust to carry on.
"Come to the edge, he said. They said:
We are afraid. Come to the edge, he said.
They came. He pushed them,
And they flew..."
- Guillaume Apollinaire
Oh yes, reality is the state of mind. Or more precisely, it’s a state of being, or a coherent energetic shift that aligns the mind with the body. In this sense I determine my own fate, I make my own reality. I am the driver of my life. I have the power to manifest what may or may not happen. Yet it’s more than just me. It’s bigger. When I drive safely, my example can give others encouragement and power. Just like when I follow the red taillight of a steady driver, I feel secure. The snow storm, the fear from accident and my mantra brought me to such a feeling of our fated connection.
On the radio Thomas Murdock was quoted, “When I find perfection in God, God finds perfection in me.” The synchronicity gave me a smile. I am the creator, and the creator is me. I live God’s life, and God lives mine. We are all Gods with infinite potential. Living my life responsibly and to the fullest extent is not just for me but for everyone, and with everyone. The word perfection strikes me as profound. It has a meaning of complete acceptance. Nothing is perfect. Life is not perfect we say, yet everything, everyone is.
When fear strikes, I have a choice to either give into the feeling as if it is the reality, or I can become greater than it, rise above it. How do I be greater than fear? Stiffening up my spine wouldn’t do it. But when I let go, relaxing the tightness from fear, from dissatisfaction, from irritation, I release into peace. That peaceful place of acceptance, accepting who I am and what is. How do I release? It is trust, faith in the great goodness that is. I have felt it in my meditations.
To love is to trust. To accept life as it is, as it unfolds is trust. To relax is trust. To breath deep is trust. To smile is trust. To forgive is trust. To look forward is trust. To look at the positive is trust. To be thankful is trust. To tolerate is trust. To open heart is trust. To continue, to persevere through challenges is trust. To keep on giving my best is trust. To not give up is trust. To see pain and feel pain to its deepest core is trust. And to release the pain from its root is trust. To see perfection is trust.
Trust rests the heart and mind in peace. To be reminded of the divine, I get a sense that I can trust life, fate and my destiny. In fact fate, destiny and individual will intertwine in creation. Fate and destiny may be seen as my creation from an earlier part of the fabric that is my life.
A rare snow storm, challenging driving conditions and my fears, another situation in life for me to practice: release into trust, trust to carry on.
"Come to the edge, he said. They said:
We are afraid. Come to the edge, he said.
They came. He pushed them,
And they flew..."
- Guillaume Apollinaire
Thursday, December 18, 2008
What is Dying, What is Living--thoughts after viewing Synecdoche, New York
To me, a good movie either leaves a strong impression years after, or brings up heated discussion after. Synecdoche, New York definitely brought the second reaction. As our family walked out of the theater, mom noticed one woman who came alone, was walking with such desolation, such loneliness, such sad expression on her face and in her posture, as if the movie was talking about her life. It seems to me that many Americans are resonating with that desperation of loneliness, a just beneath the surface unhappiness, even if their lives on the surface seem perfect, or not bad, even if they had enough money and things.
I noticed at the end of the movie, I had to sit up in my seat, and tell myself, “He (the main character Caden Cotard) got it all wrong. Death is not that bad. Death doesn’t have to be that scary that it ruins one’s life!” But I notice the character did strike a chord in me, and I see from the reviews this movie got that it did with many Americans, whether they strongly liked the film or strongly disliked it. It didn’t do so much with mom. Mom said, Chinese wouldn’t get this movie at all.
To me the superficial layer of influence on this film can be traced to culture, i.e. what’s important culturally, what does living life to the fullest means, what is death, etc. To make some broad comparisons between the US and Chinese views, there is a cynical edge to most American jokes; Chinese usually don’t get these jokes because Chinese jokes tend to be on the earnest side. That cynicism to me has a hopeless flavor in resolving problems. The mainstream American culture is afraid of aging; whereas Chinese traditionally love to brag about how old they are. Americans avoid talking about death generally; Chinese make it a point to talk about death often. In the movie, although Caden talks about he was dying all the time, yet he does not investigate all the way through his health crisis, nor does he take any preventive measures. He talks about it to get attention but don’t want to look at it himself. Instead he gets into new relationships as an escape. The Chinese culture focuses on prevention health-wise, and there are many spiritual teachings in Buddhism and Taoism about death.
A deeper influence on the film may come from family uprising, specifically how one is raised to faces challenges. The older generations either in China or the US had to face severe challenges early on in their lives, having to strive to survive. They had no choice but to persevere. They are survivors which makes them unafraid of challenges later on in their lives. For the generations growing up with plenty of material riches, many of us are shielded from challenges and strivings early on. We have never seen or came into contact with desolation early in our lives. So when we are adults, when we fall down, it’s much harder and scarier for us to get up. This is why we tend to get depressed easily by the smallest difficulties. Sometimes we are so afraid of failure that we actually don’t get up, stop living. This fear of failing seems to be more prevalent now in young adults than earlier because of the material wealth.
The deepest layer of influence on this film is still on the personal level, how one chooses to live. To me the main character Caden was never quite in his own life. He was either regretting the past or having fantasies about the future. He didn’t look into what is wrong now. He didn’t do much about his own health, his fear of dying, or his grief and anger of losing his family. He did not face what’s going on inside him in that moment. He was not alive when the movie started. He was as good as dead, so his life from that point on was fictional, unreal, like a movie, a mental fabrication.
Many of us may have stagnated into non-living at some points in our lives when we got too comfortable gliding across life that we forget what we actually wanted in life. As this under the surface unhappiness permeates our life and builds up, some of us may snap, like Caden’s first wife did. She subconsciously desired some kind of death, so rebirth may happen. This is usually called the dark night of the soul, which is really not a bad thing at all, because we must go through this period to raise from the dead, to be reborn. These people who desired real contact and a more present life would leave the un-present behind, like the wife did with Caden. And he was surrounded by a movie set with other fake, unreal people like himself. Indeed the movie and his life shared a very sad ending.
But I am glad someone showed us, showed me how horrible an unlived life can be. The more I thought about the film, the more it gave me motivation to shift some existing holding patterns in my life, areas where I have been ignoring, numbing or depressing. I think it’s necessary for all of us to be reminded over and over, because when I actually look, I see that not being present is more prevalent and insidious in my own life than I’d like to admit. Just the last couple of days, I notice myself uneasy, constantly having an underlying, quiet but persistent nagging feeling of unease. I know on a mental level that it is about the uncertainties a big change in my life is bringing, about all the loose ends that need to be tied up, about waiting to start a new kind of life in China… so much so that my emotions have been tugged and pulled by the smallest things! Finally while giving someone else advice about how to relax, I got it myself!
I had an “Aha” moment, not on the mental level, but on a gut level, “Oh, this IS my life!” My life doesn’t start a month later. My life is not waiting for me in China. My life does not start when I have time to really sing, really write, which of course, places unnecessary pressure on “really” living. My life does not start until I have my home. My life is right here, among chaos, among other people’s existing lives, among chores, among unfinished businesses. My home is right here, where I can choose to relax, where I can choose to release into my life, living my life right here right now. My life doesn’t start when things are perfect, when things are in order, when I am at where I want to be. My life is not a fantasy of beauty and perfection. My life is where I am now—here. My life is in progress, in the unfolding process, in uncertainties, in change. My life is how I live, this moment. My life is trusting, being at home, relaxing into this moment, into the flow that is life.
For those of us who had to move often as kids, the concept of home may have been an elusive one. It seemed that home was always a continent away, a house away, a partner away, a different kind of, better kind of work away. This time I felt I got it in a tangible sense. My home is where I am, where I relax, where I accept, where I release into actually, fully enjoying this life, MY life, wherever I am, whatever I am doing, however I am being.
My practice is clear to me. It’s a practice I can do anywhere anytime. It is where I am. I make my life, with how I choose to do, to act, to think, to speak right now. It’s about accepting what is right here right now, who I am, what I do, how I do here and now. It’s about accepting life, myself and the imperfections as they are. This is peace, inside and out. And this peace allows me to not only enjoy my life, but also fully tap into who I am, and make absolutely the most out of my life now, and thus creating MY future.
All of these thoughts come right back physically and energetically to our most fundamental practice of Level 1: relax. Aha!
I noticed at the end of the movie, I had to sit up in my seat, and tell myself, “He (the main character Caden Cotard) got it all wrong. Death is not that bad. Death doesn’t have to be that scary that it ruins one’s life!” But I notice the character did strike a chord in me, and I see from the reviews this movie got that it did with many Americans, whether they strongly liked the film or strongly disliked it. It didn’t do so much with mom. Mom said, Chinese wouldn’t get this movie at all.
To me the superficial layer of influence on this film can be traced to culture, i.e. what’s important culturally, what does living life to the fullest means, what is death, etc. To make some broad comparisons between the US and Chinese views, there is a cynical edge to most American jokes; Chinese usually don’t get these jokes because Chinese jokes tend to be on the earnest side. That cynicism to me has a hopeless flavor in resolving problems. The mainstream American culture is afraid of aging; whereas Chinese traditionally love to brag about how old they are. Americans avoid talking about death generally; Chinese make it a point to talk about death often. In the movie, although Caden talks about he was dying all the time, yet he does not investigate all the way through his health crisis, nor does he take any preventive measures. He talks about it to get attention but don’t want to look at it himself. Instead he gets into new relationships as an escape. The Chinese culture focuses on prevention health-wise, and there are many spiritual teachings in Buddhism and Taoism about death.
A deeper influence on the film may come from family uprising, specifically how one is raised to faces challenges. The older generations either in China or the US had to face severe challenges early on in their lives, having to strive to survive. They had no choice but to persevere. They are survivors which makes them unafraid of challenges later on in their lives. For the generations growing up with plenty of material riches, many of us are shielded from challenges and strivings early on. We have never seen or came into contact with desolation early in our lives. So when we are adults, when we fall down, it’s much harder and scarier for us to get up. This is why we tend to get depressed easily by the smallest difficulties. Sometimes we are so afraid of failure that we actually don’t get up, stop living. This fear of failing seems to be more prevalent now in young adults than earlier because of the material wealth.
The deepest layer of influence on this film is still on the personal level, how one chooses to live. To me the main character Caden was never quite in his own life. He was either regretting the past or having fantasies about the future. He didn’t look into what is wrong now. He didn’t do much about his own health, his fear of dying, or his grief and anger of losing his family. He did not face what’s going on inside him in that moment. He was not alive when the movie started. He was as good as dead, so his life from that point on was fictional, unreal, like a movie, a mental fabrication.
Many of us may have stagnated into non-living at some points in our lives when we got too comfortable gliding across life that we forget what we actually wanted in life. As this under the surface unhappiness permeates our life and builds up, some of us may snap, like Caden’s first wife did. She subconsciously desired some kind of death, so rebirth may happen. This is usually called the dark night of the soul, which is really not a bad thing at all, because we must go through this period to raise from the dead, to be reborn. These people who desired real contact and a more present life would leave the un-present behind, like the wife did with Caden. And he was surrounded by a movie set with other fake, unreal people like himself. Indeed the movie and his life shared a very sad ending.
But I am glad someone showed us, showed me how horrible an unlived life can be. The more I thought about the film, the more it gave me motivation to shift some existing holding patterns in my life, areas where I have been ignoring, numbing or depressing. I think it’s necessary for all of us to be reminded over and over, because when I actually look, I see that not being present is more prevalent and insidious in my own life than I’d like to admit. Just the last couple of days, I notice myself uneasy, constantly having an underlying, quiet but persistent nagging feeling of unease. I know on a mental level that it is about the uncertainties a big change in my life is bringing, about all the loose ends that need to be tied up, about waiting to start a new kind of life in China… so much so that my emotions have been tugged and pulled by the smallest things! Finally while giving someone else advice about how to relax, I got it myself!
I had an “Aha” moment, not on the mental level, but on a gut level, “Oh, this IS my life!” My life doesn’t start a month later. My life is not waiting for me in China. My life does not start when I have time to really sing, really write, which of course, places unnecessary pressure on “really” living. My life does not start until I have my home. My life is right here, among chaos, among other people’s existing lives, among chores, among unfinished businesses. My home is right here, where I can choose to relax, where I can choose to release into my life, living my life right here right now. My life doesn’t start when things are perfect, when things are in order, when I am at where I want to be. My life is not a fantasy of beauty and perfection. My life is where I am now—here. My life is in progress, in the unfolding process, in uncertainties, in change. My life is how I live, this moment. My life is trusting, being at home, relaxing into this moment, into the flow that is life.
For those of us who had to move often as kids, the concept of home may have been an elusive one. It seemed that home was always a continent away, a house away, a partner away, a different kind of, better kind of work away. This time I felt I got it in a tangible sense. My home is where I am, where I relax, where I accept, where I release into actually, fully enjoying this life, MY life, wherever I am, whatever I am doing, however I am being.
My practice is clear to me. It’s a practice I can do anywhere anytime. It is where I am. I make my life, with how I choose to do, to act, to think, to speak right now. It’s about accepting what is right here right now, who I am, what I do, how I do here and now. It’s about accepting life, myself and the imperfections as they are. This is peace, inside and out. And this peace allows me to not only enjoy my life, but also fully tap into who I am, and make absolutely the most out of my life now, and thus creating MY future.
All of these thoughts come right back physically and energetically to our most fundamental practice of Level 1: relax. Aha!
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