Sunday, October 25, 2009

Conquering Fear with Joy

It was amazing fears were coming up. Before going to bed I was wondering to myself, why am I attracted to a Mongolian? I myself am already split between China and the US. Whenever I am in China, I miss the greenery, the clean air, the spaceousness in nature, and the curteous attitude, the deep, individually inquisitive spirituality of the Americans; whenever I am in the US, I miss the wonderful array of foods, the abundance of different kinds of fresh, in season greens, the richness of tastes from different provinces, the warm connection of the ordinary people in China and the long history of wellness, spirituality and wisdom. My fear was, am I getting more unstable by marrying a Mongolian?

Then it donged on me, I am of both places. I couldn’t just be in one place for the rest of my life. My life is fabulously rich because I am of both places, and I enjoy going back and forth! So it’s perfect that I am marrying someone who would also enjoy going back and forth with me. I am of China and the US. He is of Mongolia and China. Together we are of all three places. We are not less. We are more. Our children will be more. And since our hearts are happy together, our home is with our hearts. So I might as well feel right at home migrating through our three homes! Voila! Spontaneous explosion of joy blows out the fear yet again. Always, always remember joy and gratitude in each of my steps.

(In the five element theory of TCM, fire of the heart system controls and regulates water of the kidney system. When the heart fire is constantly vibrant, it can turn excess water into steam. But if we seek out adrenoline joy rides, ridinng on the ups and downs of the heart, we can burn up rest of the water, and deplete our kidneys and our energy. Again it’s about finding our personal balance in specific times.)

Back in the US--Back to Posting!

Dear friends,
I am finally back in the States, and eager to put more writings onto my blog. China had blocked many western sites such as youtube, facebook and google blog. This was why all of a sudden I couldn’t post any new writings anymore. That is something to be thankful for living in the North America. In the future I will find a Chinese site to host my blog so I can continue my conversations with all of you.

Thank you all for your patience. Your feedbacks are precious to me, so please leave your words! It’s good to be back!