Driving through Portland, OR in the blizzard, a stretch of black ice on I-5 made most cars pull over to the shoulder to put on chains. A few were in the ditch and a couple overturned. I didn’t have time to get chains. The car in front of me suddenly started spinning, all the way across three lanes, into the ditch. I stepped hard onto my break. Luckily my anti-lock brake saved me from spinning. None the less rushes of adrenaline made my legs feel weak. I desperately wanted to pull over or even turn around. But the storm was just going to increase from now on, and I only had this small window to get home for Christmas. So I bit down my teeth (a Chinese expression), repeating the mantra “I will get home. I will get home.” Then my back started to straighten without me trying, and my grip on the steering was more stable yet relaxed. I didn’t feel scared and tight anymore. My intent became focused and clear, and my car was steady. It was as if I was driving in the qigong state, a state of relaxed focus, or focused relaxation.
Oh yes, reality is the state of mind. Or more precisely, it’s a state of being, or a coherent energetic shift that aligns the mind with the body. In this sense I determine my own fate, I make my own reality. I am the driver of my life. I have the power to manifest what may or may not happen. Yet it’s more than just me. It’s bigger. When I drive safely, my example can give others encouragement and power. Just like when I follow the red taillight of a steady driver, I feel secure. The snow storm, the fear from accident and my mantra brought me to such a feeling of our fated connection.
On the radio Thomas Murdock was quoted, “When I find perfection in God, God finds perfection in me.” The synchronicity gave me a smile. I am the creator, and the creator is me. I live God’s life, and God lives mine. We are all Gods with infinite potential. Living my life responsibly and to the fullest extent is not just for me but for everyone, and with everyone. The word perfection strikes me as profound. It has a meaning of complete acceptance. Nothing is perfect. Life is not perfect we say, yet everything, everyone is.
When fear strikes, I have a choice to either give into the feeling as if it is the reality, or I can become greater than it, rise above it. How do I be greater than fear? Stiffening up my spine wouldn’t do it. But when I let go, relaxing the tightness from fear, from dissatisfaction, from irritation, I release into peace. That peaceful place of acceptance, accepting who I am and what is. How do I release? It is trust, faith in the great goodness that is. I have felt it in my meditations.
To love is to trust. To accept life as it is, as it unfolds is trust. To relax is trust. To breath deep is trust. To smile is trust. To forgive is trust. To look forward is trust. To look at the positive is trust. To be thankful is trust. To tolerate is trust. To open heart is trust. To continue, to persevere through challenges is trust. To keep on giving my best is trust. To not give up is trust. To see pain and feel pain to its deepest core is trust. And to release the pain from its root is trust. To see perfection is trust.
Trust rests the heart and mind in peace. To be reminded of the divine, I get a sense that I can trust life, fate and my destiny. In fact fate, destiny and individual will intertwine in creation. Fate and destiny may be seen as my creation from an earlier part of the fabric that is my life.
A rare snow storm, challenging driving conditions and my fears, another situation in life for me to practice: release into trust, trust to carry on.
"Come to the edge, he said. They said:
We are afraid. Come to the edge, he said.
They came. He pushed them,
And they flew..."
- Guillaume Apollinaire
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