What is Illness, What is Wellness?

A short talk by Jerigtu at the OKC Unity Church

We’ll talk about illness.  What is an ill patient and what is illness? They are completely different concepts.  What is illness and what is wellness?  Also very different concept.  When someone has passed the physical exams, we don’t say this person is healthy.  Mongolians say when someone’s mind and consciousness is healthy also, one is truly healthy.

When one is in a happy circumstance, one does not feel joyous, or when one is in a sad situation, but does not feel much grief, one is ill.  If one sees another person slip and fall, and want to laugh, this person is ill.  This person is not bad.  His or her character is not bad.  He and she is ill.

The majority of clients come to me are females.  Does it mean women have more illness?  No.  It’s because they are more tuned into their senses, and their limbic brain is more connected to the frontal lobe, so they know when something is not right, that they need to ask for help.  Whereas men have as many illnesses, but their senses were more suppressed, so when they are ill, they may also suppress the sensations or the cry for help.  Women feel sadness much more readily and respond by crying, thus allowing the body to release the energy/emotion.  This is a sign of connection.  That’s why women have longer life span than men.  

Explosive crimes are caused by these beings who systemically suppress their emotions and senses, so the illness becomes more and more severe, until it causes social disturbances.  And this is also why more men are involved in crime because their emotions and senses have been suppressed more early on.  Illness is accumulative.  

For example, if we often think, “I don’t have enough money, and only if the money in the banks would come into my account…”  If we keep on thinking these thoughts, thoughts eventually accumulate into things, or actions, such as robbing a bank on a spur of moment, or even with planning.  This is illness accumulating.  If a man looks at a woman and think of sex, enough times this man will have kidney deficiency, kidneys functioning will slowly go down.  Each time a thought activate the kidneys and drain them little by little.  A Mongolian saying goes, “Thoughts of sex shortens life.”  This person is not bad.  This person is ill and needs help.

When more females are in power, it signals that our society in large is getting more and more connected with our senses and emotions, and empathy.  And it signals there will be peace prevailing in the world.  An open heart is at the center of peace. 

15% of the population may be well.  15% may have illnesses that can be seen in examinations.  The rest 70% are ill but cannot be seen in the exam results.  Earliest Mongolian healing do not separate into parts of body, but rather in three categories: qi or energy, soul or spirit, and imbalance.

Human beings relate to different realms or systems, within our body it is a system, humans relating to our environment is a system, relating to nature is a system, relating to society is a system, relating to the universe is yet another system.  Therefore when we are ill, we must find out in which system the illness is caused.  When we find the cause, we come into healing by activating the natural healing mechanism of each organ system.

For example when we suddenly enter into an air conditioned room from the heat, our pores stand up like goose bumps.  This is because our body feels the change, and the pores are closing so the sudden cold do not enter into the skin.  But if the skin does not respond in this way, it means we have lost our natural healing mechanism.  Even if we get rid of the cold through medicine, because we don’t have this natural protective mechanism, we will catch cold again and again.  True healing is to re-activate the natural healing mechanisms of organ systems and the body.

Capacity to Perform depends on Our Capacity to Relax

Taking a lunch break from the Yi Jin Jing workshop, I stared at the TV in the restaurant for a moment and felt my mind zoned out.  Sudden the realization entered that this is why so many of us watch TV or surf the web at times, while feeling like we are wasting our life doing so.  This is because the TV and web actually alleviated our busy mind, so that we could zone out for brief moments. 

Our body needs these zoned out moments to recuperate.  Kids zone out for no apparent reason all the time.  It’s a crucial but forgotten part of life. We used to chat amongst friends and family, and in between talk, we naturally zoned out.  The villagers in Inner Mongolia where Jerigtu is from still do that, and that’s one of many reasons why I enjoy being amongst them so much. 

Now that our days are packed full of activities, of actively doing, we are lacking these moments of zoning out. Our modern city lives place too much importance in doing, and not in undoing.  Our lives tend to be too yang and not supported by yin activities, such as resting, letting go, surrendering the mind and the body, zoning out, observing and meditating inwardly.

There is a saying that the muscle is only as strong as it is flexible, which means the muscle’s ability to engage depends on its ability to relax and lengthen.  To broaden this concept into our lives, this means our actions are only as powerful as our capability to relax and regenerate.

Through years of teaching and healing, I notice that almost all of us, myself included, don’t know how tight we are until the moment we are able to release.  So we are unaware of how much our own power is restricted, and how much our life is limited until we begin to explore into our capacity to relax.

So if you feel a little more relaxed from the busy day after watching TV or surfing the web, can you imagine the capacity of relaxation would happen while your whole being is intending on that one purpose only, to relax.  The main goal of Level One ZY Qigong is relaxation.  All the exercises and meditations help us release and surrender fuller into our capacity to relax.  When our physical body and mind relax enough, energy naturally begins to flow and accumulate. 

If you feel chronically lack of energy, lack of focus, clarity or the ability to persevere, you may consider joining us for the weekend June 10-13.  If you are working on healing a chronic illness, this practice would serve you well.  If you would like an overall shift in your productivity or creative energy, this practice could be the jump start for the change.

Creativity and Energy

I like to write and to create.  For me I know that when I feel exhausted, it’s impossible for me to be creative.  This is because life uses the same energy, same life force for all conditions.  Life shares this same source of energy for all the vital organs, as it does for our sexual energy, our well power, and it does for our creative energy as well.

So when feeling exhausted, first I must revitalize myself.  And the most effective way is through qigong practice.  When I meditate and tap into the energetic state, it is much more effective than sleep, or just resting.   Sometimes five to twenty minutes would do it, and then my energy feel full and my creative juice feels vibrant again.

I found at times when I am exhausted, but I don’t go right into practice.  The reason is that somehow I feel bad about being exhausted, and I cannot accept that is my current state.  So feeling bad about being exhausted makes me putter around doing nothing much, or numb out by surfing the web.  In another word, not dealing with what’s happening now. 

In order to address the issue at hand, I first must accept my current state, that it’s okay that I am feeling exhausted.  I am not bad because I feel exhausted or not well.  It’s normal that all of us feel exhausted or not so well at times, and not have the energy I think I “should” have to deal with tasks at hand.  And this accepting means literally opening my heart to me, to me right here right now.  When my heart feels my current condition and feels compassion for it, I release the bad feelings and the need to do, to accomplish, and I take care of myself by going into practice.

Then I feel the energy flowing and I return to the natural flow of life.  I can flow more easily and effortlessly in life.  Our external flow, the flow of life reflects our internal flow.  It’s a direct extension or manifestation of how we are flowing energetically within.  So pay attention to me, to my bodily sensations, right here right now.

I invite you to two upcoming qigong workshops.  The Yi Jin Jing practice is one of the most effective movement practice I have found to date.  It activates flow in all areas of our body, brings flow into our blind spots.  The practice builds strength that not only empowers our body but our lives.

Through my own practice, the way I lead the ZY Qigong workshop changes.  This year seem to be an ending of a cycle in my self-development, and this will manifest directly into how I teach this workshop.  I hope to share this joy and grounding with all of you.

NOW

Now, it is for ME.

Now. Right here. This moment.
It is for ME. No one else. It is for me.

Now is for ME. Because this is MY life. No one else's.

I have manifested this moment. I have manifested everything before. And I manifest everything beyond.

This IS my life. And NOW, this moment is mine. It is for ME. I fully inhabit it. Deeply.

I breathe throughout my body. I own now.

I fully own this moment. And this moment. And this moment. And this moment...

Lean into Pain to Resolve It

One of my students once said to me, when doing Big Tree, she has learned to lean into pain to eventually resolve it.

 This is precisely what’s effective in healing, physical pain or emotional pain. Often when a condition becomes chronic, we have learned to ignore it to some extent and numb it in our awareness. This is why the body has learned to co-exist with the condition. In order to heal it, we must bring our full awareness into it, look right into it, lean into it, wake it up, hear it, see it and experience it fully. Then the healing may start.

I have remembered to try it again this morning when my persistent stomachache finally got my attention. So it’s a meditative practice that can be done anytime in life, not only in Big Tree Standing Meditation. It’s not a “oh, it’s hurting again, oh no, oh what can I take to stop it” kind of going-outward-for-help notice, but rather, “what is it trying to tell me, and how can I change” kind of going-in-deep awareness.

This requires me not afraid of what the body is trying to say, therefore allowing it to cry out fully, which could mean at first experiencing more and deeper pain. Know that the body would not give us more than what we can take, so relax into the pain. The more I relax, I feel more spacious in my stomach area. I see, I have been tightening it chronically without notice. As I release more space for the stomach, I do feel the pain spread and intensifying. I ask, what are you trying to tell me? It says, “Give me space. Always allow space for me to work, to breathe. Protect my space even when you feel tense, nervous, worried or pressed in by outside demands.” I hear you. And this will require on going practice in life.

Then the pain begins to subside. It moved to the spleen. My spleen felt hot. I relax around my spleen and ask, “What are you saying to me?” “I am empty. I have been working too hard at times when you over ate. I need rest, too. So please take breaks.” I see. I must not over eat out of nervousness or fear. Be in the moment in my body when I eat, and stop when I feel the signal for the first time. My stomach and spleen slowly begins to calm.

This is all practice to be in the body while living life. And when we feel pain in the body, it’s a wake up call, telling us how we must change for healing to start. We are powerful. We can heal ourselves. Now take that one step and begin to really listen, really see, and begin to release that old familiar tightness pattern. This is a life time practice, and we are doing this together now.

Releasing Main Holding Pattern, Finding Main Life Mantra, and Becoming a Greater Self

We know it is utmost important to live in the moment, to be to present in the now. But why then, something else often takes over? What is it that takes over?

 I know the pleasant feel of living in the moment from experience. It’s a visceral pleasure and overall fulfilled sensation. But I find, the present moment is often interrupted by thoughts.

Where do these thoughts come from? They are also from the body, often rehearsed patterns, what we were used to. The thoughts often accompanied by emotions such as frustration and upset, they are cries for help from the body saying, “Hello, there is still a holding pattern here, there is still tightness that’s limiting flow, the flow of life.”

For me, one of the biggest holding patterns in life was that I believed life is not mine, that I am living for others. It was due to a helpless child having to submit to an overwhelmingly controlling mother. (Of course there were perfect reasons in her life progression for her limiting patterns. We will focus on how to resolve our pattern here, and go into understanding others’ patterns later.) So what others want of me become so important that it overwhelm my own voice, my own needs and wants.

So after realizing this was my greatest holding pattern in this lifetime, or a karmic loop tape of multiple life times in me, I developed the mantra, “This is MY life. I am the center of MY life. I get to choose what serves my life and my spiritual development now. I get to decide where MY boundaries are, and choosing that I am doing this for ME…” The key is repeating the phrase “this is MY life” until I feel it viscerally in my being. And the utmost important word is “viscerally” because that is an overall being shift. I would feel my posture changing to more relaxed, supported and erect position.

This is also what we train and practice in our workshops and classes, to be able to connect viscerally, connecting the mind and the body. As a healer, I am also using myself as a mirror for the client and identify what disconnections I see, when and where the disconnect may have happened, and then extending my energy to help reconnect the neglected connections in clients.

This mantra is what counters the helpless feeling of the baby, and it starts to build strength of the adult. Each time it’s like an exercise of strengthening, just like bodybuilding or any physical exercise, in this case energy and awareness. When there is a weakness, we must repeatedly strengthen it until reversing the weakness pattern.

Lately I have also been envisioning at the end of life, when “judgment” time comes, I would like to feel that I have lived a life of my own, not for others. I have stood on my own and I have followed what makes me happy, not for others. The strong visceral image instantly brings the worried or fearful me back into my center, into grounding in my body.

With this on-going practice, I have been having more moments of feeling satiated, feeling at ease, feeling joy, and can snap out of state of worry, fear and irritation more readily.

The gradual change has been the biggest life-changing shift I have experienced, in my professional and personal life. I hope with my inner seeing and energetic hands I could help more people reverse their life limiting patterns and come into the fullness that is their life.

So do you know what is the main limiting pattern for your life, in your body? Do you know the countering mantra that can gradually reverse the weakness in your body and bring strength and power into your own life? This may be something we could find out sometime into the course of our healing sessions, or this may be something you discover through inner seeing in your persistent qigong practice.