Courage Right Next to Me

Taking a walk on the longest day of the year, the sun is setting in a clear blue sky on a calm blue sea. Light spring breeze kisses trees and blooming flowers gently. There is nothing to worry about, on this beautiful day.

Then I started noticing groups of three, five people walking past me wearing the same T-shirts. They are not strolling. They are walking briskly with a purpose. “Are you going to a gathering at the park?” I asked one of them. “No. We are walking to prevent suicide.” “Oh.” It’s a heavy subject, suicide. We let the conversation end quickly and continued in our opposite directions.

More and more people kept on walking past me. The more people the more I felt the lump in my throat building. I started to look at each of them carefully. I noticed photos of their deceased ones on their T-shirt. All of a sudden I wanted to turn to the side and cry. These people on the t-shirts had already left.

Then I noticed there are usually four or five people wearing shirts with the same photo. The deceased one had left a circle of loved ones. Once I heard someone say that suicide is the most selfish act because it leaves their loved ones with all the grief, sorrow, questions that cannot be answered. My heart turned toward these faces that were walking past me. Many of them looked ordinary, if they didn’t wear the same t-shirts in the group, I wouldn’t have given them a second look. But now I saw something behind those ordinary faces. I could feel layers underneath, the depth of live they have lived through. I wanted to cry even more, not out of sadness but because of their strength, their determination to carry on, to walk on even in the deepest grief, supporting each other walking out of darkness.

So often we walk amongst many people, yet we feel alone in our own life, our own challenges, our self imposed solitude. So often we forget the people walking past us, completely oblivious of their presence. So often we don’t even look into their faces to see that there is life underneath, there is much living, difficult and happy, just underneath the façade. So often we forget that everyone around us has their own story, not necessarily easier than our own. So often we forget that somehow we are connected far beyond what our logical mind could fathom.

How do I live my life being reminded of this today? I am not alone. My decisions do not just affect me. Even when I feel weak, it’s not just me. When I give in to my addictions, it’s not just me. Millions out there are also struggling against addictions, struggling to not give in more, fall more. Millions are trying to choose light, choose to walk out of darkness, choose courage. I can, too, this moment, choose courage.