Stopping Time, Expanding Space

First Draft Feb. 08, Final Draft June 08

He is a rarity. There are only so few of them in any generation. His purpose here is pure, untainted and stronger than anything else. He has one purpose—to sing. It doesn’t matter that he hasn’t experienced many things the songs talk about. He sings with the purest emotions that we all have, we all share, grief of loss, anger of unable, despair, hope and love. He may not even know what loving another person means yet. He is only a very innocent twenty. But he feels his love for singing, so he pours it right through every song. He is completely uninhibited when singing because in that moment there is only music in his entire world. Nothing else exists. Nothing else disrupts him. Nothing else matters. His presence is singular. There is no time anymore. We listen and watch in awe because we have stopped in time with him. The pure power of his presence brings us into that single moment.

When he finishes singing, we all sigh with envy. How could he sing with such expansiveness? Where is his power coming from? How come we become focused when listening to him, as if our busy mind has stopped for that time being? How come he is not self conscious when he is singing, as if he’s lost a sense of the self and gained something greater? How come he seems to be in a world of his own when singing, one he reigns with pure confidence, and he brings us all in with him? There is no worries of the past, no fears of the future, no judgments from the others, no comparisons with others, no limitations placed on the self, no contradictions of identities, only one simple, natural doing: singing. The moment is pure. It is contagious.

We wish we could be like him. Because with that wild abandon, that undiluted focus and strong passion, we know we could achieve anything. Yet most of us, myself included, feel our own limitations, our social bondages and the domestication of our true nature. We frequently question our choices, our talent and don’t persist with our passion. We tend to settle for second best because then we don’t “shatter” our dreams. We are afraid of challenging our own potentials. Most of us don’t believe our dreams could actually come true. We have given up too early on, so we settle for safety, comfort and boredom.

Yet deep down all of us always have that connection to our truth, so we gravitate toward someone pure and fearless like him, someone who hasn’t lost his original passion for living. He has become like a hero, an inspiration for us to work hard and go after our heart’s desire. His heartfelt expression breaks us out of our own boredom, our suspended animation that we have been calling life. His fearless voice reminds us of the vividness of life, the beauty of the moment, and the excitement of abandon, and the release into the unknown.

It is no coincidence that just as I began to break out of my own old life, at the beginning of this year, I heard his powerful voice. Previously because of my all consuming attention on work, I considered web surfing a waste of time. When I sought change, I began to expand my horizon with the brethe of online videos. As soon as I listened to a couple of songs, I saw this strange young man wearing a girly bib, playing the piano singing a Chinese pop song that was part deep manly voice, part piercing women’s Chinese opera. The situation was so funny yet the singer sang with such earnesty that brought up my fascination. There was an immediate presence in his focus despite all else going on around him, and this presence transmitted through his relaxed voice a magnetic force that galvanized my attention. Soon I found myself looking up all of his video clips like a teenage maniacal fan. For a while I was embarrassed to admit that I am actually a mature, professional thirty-five year old.

He reminded me that music is universal. He reminded me of that tiny, long ago buried voice in me, a voice thirsts for life, a voice that desire to live authentically, without any of the social baggage I have accumulated with degrees, titles and identities. I craved a life that is natural and free, 不刻意不做作not controlling, not pretending.

His singing acted as a spark awakening my life passion. From the way he wishes for lots of people to hear his music but do not hope or expect, I am reminded to live my life with love, to live each moment genuinely without expectations. Listen to my heart instead of all the voices outside, and go for it, and go for it, and go for it, persevere because I love my path, I love my life, not because I want life to give me something in return. Give my one hundred percent to living in the present. And live on with a smile because I love life.

Finding this singer is no coincidence. I am thankful. This kind of synchronicity makes me feel others’ presence in my life, influencing my life. And I know my choices also affect others’ lives. Indeed we are all one continuous fabric of life, each one’s choice affecting all others. Next time when I choose fear or courage, there is so much more reason to choose to live my most radiant life, to choose to shine my most brilliant beauty, and have the audacity to be the creator of my life in each moment.

Thank you for living your life fully, fearlessly, lovingly, luminously.