Out of Loneliness

2002
Woke up feeling that emptiness
Puttered around the house, no connection
Turned on the radio to fill the space, the grey corners of the house

Morning elongates into afternoon
no boundaries
no demarcations of minutes
hours

Dragged out of this void of a house, finally
Shin bumped car door, no pain
Legs rubbed by cat, no feeling

Saturday afternoon
Driving down crowded Queen Anne Ave
Cut off from the actions and flow outside
by this box of metal housing me

Me.
Suddenly, “I” makes itself aware in my chest
A fluttering spirit above finds its way, settles within
A smile creeps up from the “I” onto my face, bright, fast-climbing morning glories

The weight of the body is
The solidness of “I” is
A clear boundary between body and world…is

In one moment
The bigness of the universe is “I”, beyond buildings, cars, the city
A gladness spreads in me
A deep weep from the chest into the vastness of me…

I thank you
For letting me feel that switch in my body
Out of unfeeling out of disconnect out of loneliness.